Saturday, March 11, 2017

The Unsupportive



You may remember that, in my February wrap-up post, I said that I was aiming to be excited all of March. The whole month. I also mentioned that I hit a rough spot already, a rough spot that inspired this post. I want to share, because I don't think that I'm the only one.

More than likely, each and every one of us is going to have a person, at some point in our life, that is not going to be supportive at all. They may already be in your life, and they may not. They could be a friend, close friend, family member, etc. Hopefully, they aren't a family member, because it's the hardest when they are. Believe me, I know this from personal experience. They've been there since I first started writing, and are still there.

The Lie

The unsupportive people will tear you down. You can't talk about writing with them, because they ignore you, say they don't care, or say that what you are trying to do is dumb. And even though the words may not come out of their mouth, what they are basically telling you is that you're not capable of doing anything, not capable of succeeding. You'll never be good at anything. You know that difference you want to make? Yeah, that's never going to happen.

Unfortunately, after a while, you might actually start to believe them. You begin to question why you are even trying. What's the point? You're probably not good at it anyway. You get discouraged. Maybe you should just give up.

The Truth

They. Are. Wrong. I am going to tell you what my dad once told me: You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it. And it's true! Don't let one person tell you otherwise. Besides, how many people have told you that you are good at what you're doing? A lot more than just one person, right?

God put this passion in us for a reason. He has given each of us different strengths and writing styles. We all have a certain genre in which we are really good at writing. Why? Because God is going to use us to reach different people. Not everyone likes the same books. And, He already knows which people He wants us to reach. Isn't that just so amazing and wonderful?! That alone, should keep you going, keep you striving to be the best you can be.

What I Do/ My Advice

To be perfectly honest, I believe the lie almost every time. But, every time I also find another reason why I need to continue. Yes, for me, the unsupportive person is family. But when they tell me that I can't do something, it only makes me more determined. When the right person says I can't do something, I am the type of person that says, "Watch me." (I don't actually say it, but you get my point.)

Not everyone is like me though. Talk to someone if you have to. I don't usually talk to people about it myself, but this last time, I did. And it helped. But most importantly, take it to God. Talk to Him about it. I mean, He gave you the gift and passion, so wouldn't He know exactly how to help you?

Also, pray for the person who doesn't support you. More than likely, they are struggling with something that you don't know about. Continue to be supportive of them even though they don't reciprocate. God loves them to.


But remember, you don't have to be a writer for this to apply. This can go for anyone. Don't let unsupportive people keep you from being happy and excited this month (and the rest of the year).


What about you? How do you deal with the unsupportive people in your life?

16 comments:

  1. This is an inspiring post! <3 So true. I'm that way too - if someone tells me I can't do something, I suddenly have massive willpower and determination to do so. Ironic, isn't it?

    Lift your chin up and smile because you're going to go places. You know how I know? Because you already have. <3

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    1. Thank you! Haha, it is. :D

      Aw, thank you so much, Hannah! :)

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  2. This post...is beautiful. If someone is isn't supportive of me, I do that too--I want to prove them wrong.

    I know you're going to make a difference. Seriously; every time I read one of your posts I'm impacted. Your words are so beautiful. I'm praying for you!

    <3

    audrey caylin

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one like that.

      Aww, thank you so much, Audrey! You have no idea how much that means. :)

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  3. I <3 this!! I think I tend to listen to the lies...but I'm not going to let them hold me back anymore but actually pull me on to work harder!!

    My mom says the same thing!!! My mom tells me I can do anything if I set my mind to it. ;)

    BTW, I'm hosting an online party on April 1st: http://teenwritersparty.blogspot.com/
    Please tell all your writer friends!

    - Lilly Shyree (alillyingodsgarden.blogspot.com)

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    1. Thank you, Lilly! That's wonderful. You continue doing what you love. :D

      Okay, thanks for letting me know. :)

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  4. aside from my blog, i don't do too much writing, but you are right!
    this is truth that can apply to all and any!

    thanks for sharing!
    it was a joy to visit your blog for the first time...(:

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad you agree. :)

      You're welcome. Thank you for stopping by. :D

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  5. This is so inspiring! I have had some not so supportive people pop up, but I won't let that stop me. =) Great post!

    Micaiah
    www.notebooksandnovels.com

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    1. Stay strong, Micaiah! ;) Thank you! :)

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  6. Wow, yes, this post was amazing! Definitely relatable. "Watch me" -- yup, that's me. But even with that determination, the seed of self-doubt has still been planted by their unkind words. Also, I don't think someone has to necessarily SAY unsupportive things for it to hurt us and cause us to believe the lie. People who simply aren't interested in our passions, and don't care to hear about it, they're saying the same thing without words.

    Thanks for sharing! This was very encouraging. :D

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    1. Thank you, Faith! :) Oh, yes, I totally agree with you. Not only are words discouraging, but even when people act as if they don't care can hurt. Thank you for pointing that out. :D

      You're welcome! :)

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  7. Ouch, yes, I have an unsupportive family member too. *sighs* But I so appreciate your insights here. While it can be discouraging, it can be helpful to take the lack of support as a challenge to do even better, if only to prove them wrong. I have also had friends and acquaintances of varying degrees inform me that writing is not work, or that I am wasting my time, or that I won't make it as a writer. But it's not for them to predict my future. And if God is calling me down this path, then I will just have to trust him to help me walk it.

    And for the record, the people who say you can't do this are wrong, because. I see so much potential in you, and I have seen so much growth in your writing already. Even if it takes you another year, or another ten years, of apprenticeship, you will get there. *nods sagely*

    Still, I get what you're saying about struggling with believing the lie, because so often it's a confirmation of the self doubt you were already battling against, and negative feedback has a stronger effect than positive. I hope you're able to find ten supportive people for every negative person you encounter, so you can balance it out. :)

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    1. Oh, you do to? It's the worst. Yeah, I really don't like it when people say that writing isn't work. We shouldn't care what others think, if we know that God clearly wants us to go down this path.

      Thank you so much, Liz! That means so much. You've always been one of my biggest supporter. :)

      Yes, I totally agree with you. I hope the same for you to. :)

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  8. This is such a good post! As writers we are often torn down by non-writers and even family members! Thank you.
    -Gray Marie
    graymariewrites.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you! Yes, unfortunately, it does happen. But it's always nice to know that we aren't the only one. You're welcome. :)

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